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"Y"
by Ethan Laurence
There are no words to convey
the amount of dismay that I've endured through the years
My footing faltered on both light and dark
and so my heart began to fall apart
I have to open up my eyes...
This is a part of me
one I didn't ask for, though I'm sure you could never see
how many days I died in my shame, abused myself,
prayed that I could be someone else
I tried to twist my mind to realign, but time after time
...nothing changes...
Was it a day in December, some trauma I can't quite remember, or did my DNA decide to develop a sense of humor?
I DON'T KNOW, BUT OF THIS I'M SURE... that this life is vivisecting every ounce of me and I won't survive.
I have to recognize...
This is a part of me
one I didn't ask for, though I'm sure you could never see
how many days I died in my shame, abused myself,
prayed that I could be someone else
I tried to twist my mind to realign, but time after time
...nothing changes...
Was it the fall?
When Adam ate the apple did his children split in two
Some would be holy
while others would paralyze in a perverted point of view
Fearing the flames, but the deepest being
doesn't understand what the others are seeing
I've tried to fake my way into the light
...but NOTHING I can do is right...
I'm so tired and have no strength to fight
This is a part of me
one I didn't ask for, though I'm sure you could never see
how many days I died in my shame, abused myself,
prayed that I could be someone else
I tried to twist my mind to realign, but time after time
...nothing changes... |
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I am officially tired of the assertion that Republicans (as compared to Democrats) are righteous and only concerned with what is best for our country. I've been getting emails in support of the Republican candidate that would make the Nazi propaganda machine proud. Seriously people.... I have no divine knowledge of who will make the best president- I admit that. But if you think for a moment that both sides aren't riddled with lies and half-truths to make you move in a certain direction, you're wrong. Obviously the same goes for the Democrats, but I don't hear quite as much "We represent Jesus" from them.
Bible Verse(s) for the Day:
James 2:5-7 Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?
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Psalm 6:6
by Ethan Laurence
Here in my head, inside the pain
I'm trying to make sense of astroplanes
Of whether Newton had purpose before
he found reason behind an apple core
See, I've been singing this for some time
attempting to make hope appear from rhyme
Believing if I could just be -beautiful-
You would care for me
God, if You're there, hear my call
and answer my persistent cries and give me life
...before I fall...
There was a time when I felt You move
the very continents were shifting views
Somewhere along the way I lost the key
to feeling Your heartbeat inside of me
See, I've been thinking about my crimes
and whether the sins dissipate the ties
If I was to end it all right here,
would You love me enough to bring me near?
God, if you care, be my all
cause I can't stand to watch the world bleed
...and slip from my hands...
My breath is still and the sky is dark
I'm staring at the hole where there used to be a heart
but I'm still reaching for You
to show me what You say is true
See, I've been dreaming about the signs
and whether they were made by creative minds
If you'll find me inside all the pain
I promise to put all my faith in Jesus name
God, if you dare, show Your power
and save the child who's sawn in two before they forget You
...in their final hour... |
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B-Flat
by Ethan Laurence
This life is getting old
and this shame is getting to heavy to hold
cause some secrets never sleep
As it stands I'm just watching days disappear
into empty months and bleeding years
abiding in fears that I'll never speak
I always understood that time was wasted on the weak
But it's time to recognize
the hopeless states and tired debates that never did a thing
to change the sickness and the solitude into separate points of view
that I can live with....that I can live in
This life is getting cold
and the blame is running out of places to go
since the fire burned all desire to see
how rapidly I can lose control
I don't care about all I'll never know
Just let me sleep...just let me go
And remember the heartaches I gave you no more
Cause I can't disguise
the inward pain that comes on my selfish name
Which has made my eyes too blind to find
where any consistent hope lies
...I will never have a reason to be alive...
So let me slip away...
Let me slide away....from the warm places inside your mind
Let me leave the me that I can't hide
Since my innocence died, I've been love denied
Let this life lose its hold
and allow me to be free to sleep
to seek solace on the other side of eternity
I'm not sure what's waiting, but I'll take my chances
to escape this agony
Just let me leave......
...only when I die will you ever find peace behind my eyes.... |
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